


i'll be around

by atemzug



Category: CLC (Band), Lovelyz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, Light Angst, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26040493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atemzug/pseuds/atemzug
Summary: Maybe if Yeeun waits a little longer, Yein will finally stop waiting.
Relationships: Jang Yeeun & Jung Yein, Jang Yeeun/Jung Yein
Kudos: 23
Collections: Girl Group Jukebox - Mixtape Round





	i'll be around

**Author's Note:**

> written for **gg jukebox mixtape round** , inspired by ['i will wait' by gracenote](https://open.spotify.com/track/5utK2kZtZV9CWfmGUfcDTK?si=UUoA7pCAQ0KER7_Aif0CFQ)

“I kissed Minho,” Yein's hushed voice pierces through the silence.

No words have ever hurt Yeeun as much.

It’s half past two in the morning. They’re lying face to face on the bottom bunk of their shared dormitory, so close that they can feel each other’s breath when they speak, shared body heat making the cold night feel warm. The lights are off except for the small lamp on the bedside table, but it’s enough for Yeeun to see Yein’s face clearly.

“Or he kissed me,” Yein continues. “I can't remember."

She wonders if Yein can see her face clearly too, wonders if Yein can see the pain that flashes in her eyes for a split second before she covers it up with the giddiest smile she can muster. 

"Was he a good kisser?" she asks. 

She couldn't care less about the answer, but how else are friends supposed to act when someone shares that they kissed the person they liked? What else is Yeeun supposed to say when Yein tells her that Minho is a good kisser, but even better in bed? All she can say is, "Oh." All she can do is smile and pretend she's happy for Yein, even though Yein herself doesn't look too happy at all when she admits that Minho actually asked her out.

Yeeun dismisses it as a trick of lighting. It's dark, after all, and they're both tired. It's better to not entertain dangerous thoughts - like the possibility of Yein not wanting to go out with Minho because her smile isn't as big and bright as it was when Yeeun had kissed her one drunken night - before they completely take over and lead her to believe in the impossible. 

But Yein sighs, and Yeeun can feel the heaviness of it, and she wants to ask if it ever meant anything. 

"Does that mean you guys are a thing now?" Yeeun asks this time.

"I don't know," Yein answers. "I had to sneak out of his room before we could talk about it."

"Typical."

"Yeah."

Yeeun tries for a smile again. "But you like him, right?"

The few seconds it takes for Yein to answer are excruciatingly long. Maybe if Yeeun holds her breath, the words won't leave Yein's mouth, and she won't feel any pain. But she's human, and breathing is necessary - as well as pain.

"I do," Yein tells her with a small smile. It doesn't quite reach her eyes, but she still looks beautiful even with shadows playing across her face.

It's a total cliché, the way Yeeun slowly, gradually, fell for her friend, the way she let herself believe Yein felt the same just because of one kiss, the way her heart shatters into a million pieces in the split second it takes for her to blink the tears away. 

She thinks it's total bullshit, how she still believes it means something when Yein reaches for her hand and intertwines their fingers, how she has to pretend it doesn't hurt when she pulls her hand away and turns around. 

Maybe she shouldn't have waited too long, shouldn't have waited for Yein to make the move and just kissed her again like she did back then. If she had shot her shot sooner, it wouldn't have hurt this much. 

Maybe if she wasn't too scared to ask for an answer, she wouldn't still be waiting. 

“That's good,” Yeeun whispers, her voice so quiet and yet somehow still resounding. 

No words have ever hurt Yein as much.

Yeeun's back is to her, her dyed blonde hair softly illuminated by the sole light source in their room. It's cold, and Yein wants to wrap her arms around Yeeun, to share warmth like they normally would whenever nights seem too long. But she's afraid if she dares to reach out again, Yeeun would inch even further away from her. 

That's what Yein has always been afraid of. 

"Pretty sure he was just drunk, though," she says. "He probably wasn't serious about going out."

"I think," Yeeun replies, "Minho's the type of person who's more honest when he's drunk."

They've both known Minho for as long as they've known each other, and Yein hates the way Yeeun is right. She'd told her they didn't have time to talk about where they stand, but the truth is Minho had asked her what she wants, and she'd told him she still doesn't know before scurrying back to her own dormitory - back to Yeeun. Because another truth is that she _does_ know what she wants, but she doesn't know what to do about it.

She's just been waiting.

"I think he's not the type to ask twice, either," she tells Yeeun. "We're probably never gonna talk about it again."

She has lost count of how many days, weeks, even months, have passed since Yeeun kissed her, since waiting felt like it wasn't in vain. It's been so long. Maybe she should just stop.

"Then _you_ should ask _him_ instead," says Yeeun.

Sometimes Yein wonders how different things would have turned out had she not been scared of asking. If she'd had the courage to ask Yeeun for another kiss, would they be together now? If she'd done more than just walking in circles, waiting for Yeeun to make the first move for the second time around, would she not be in this situation? If she'd not been afraid of rejection, of driving Yeeun away, would she not have to hold back? 

Yein's not usually the type to keep mum about her feelings. When she wants to say something, she says it. She doesn't know why and how it happened, but with Yeeun, it's always been a different case. There's never been a need to hold anything back whenever she's talking to Yeeun - one of the things Yein loves about her is that she listens with an open mind and an open heart - but she's afraid that the thing she wants to say the most might be the one thing Yeeun doesn't want to hear from her: _I think I've fallen in love with you._

Surely it happens to most people, she thinks. After all, wouldn't it be hard _not_ to fall for someone who's sweet, someone who's always there to lend an ear and offer a shoulder? 

How can Yein not fall even harder for someone who seems like she's _also_ waiting? 

Sometimes Yein lets herself believe there's something worth waiting for. Another kiss, maybe? A move? A confession? Sometimes she looks at Yeeun, and Yeeun looks back at her with bright, shining eyes that seem to hide words that desperately want to come out - the exact same way Yein looks at her - and she feels as though she's making the right decision.

She reaches out her hand, but stops before her fingertips can touch Yeeun's soft skin. 

Maybe she should wait a bit longer.

She finally answers Yeeun.

"Maybe I will."

She finally answers herself, too.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/crashingfalling)


End file.
